Thursday, 18 January 2007

Moneybroking Exam - Classic

Candidates are asked to stand with their legs a minimum of shoulder width apart whilst having one ear pressed into a mobile glancing at their reflection before entering the examination hall.

1. Del, Dean and Locko are socialising in a bar. They each require a bottled beer at £3.50 each and a bottle of Pinot Grigio for some birds at £15.00. How much money do they have to give the barmaid ?
a) £30.00
b) £25.50
c) “take it out of that luv”

2. Place the following items in order of importance: watch, car, belt, colour of credit card, reflection.

3. How many ponies in a monkey?
a) 20
b) 0.5
c) What am I a rocket scientist?

4. One of your customers has demanded a reduction of brokerage fees on the understanding that this will increase business volume. Do you:
a) refuse to adjust your rates and do less trade?
b) reach a compromise and do less trade?
c) agree to their terms and still do less trade?

5. How many units of alcohol do you consume in a week?
a) 35
b) 50
c) zero, because if you drink again you will end up in another fight and lose your job

6. A new trader has started at a bank and no broker has been assigned to the line. Do you:
a) pretend to know them
b) pretend to know them well
c) pretend to know them really well

7. You spend a Thursday night with a newly acquainted young lady, you awake at 6.30 on Friday morning and realise you are soon due at the office. What do you do?
a) thank the lady for a lovely evening and exchange email addresses
b) phone your boss and ask for a day’s holiday so that you can enjoy a post-coital day of romance
c) get out of bed, scratch yourself, break wind loudly and utter “sorry love I gotta go it’s non-farm payrolls”

8. On a Friday morning you feel the urge to use the lavatory. After securing Rupert Murdoch’s finest, which cubicle do you choose?
a) The one with no paper
b) The pebble-dashed one
c) The one blocked to the rim with toilet paper
d) The one with no seat

9. How many monkeys in a pony?
a) .075
b) .05
c) I’ll be back.

10. Your desk is considering employing a female trainee. What is the most important reason for making her part of the team?
a) The relevance of her degree
b) Her dynamism and character
c) Does she go over?

On completion of the paper please hand it to the examiner and ask him if he’s “avin it at 5.00”.

1 comment:

textosterone said...

In a previous life as a blog, I traded a pony for a monkey, and found myself £475 a-cropper.