Thursday, 15 June 2000

From "Conceptual Poet Lives"

By Nicholas Manning.

[...] This weapons systems has evolved over the years, having been heavily modified after the early discovery of hidden alien designs in the basement of Jack Spicer. Following these advancements, Conceptual Poet’s standard offensive weapons have remained rather stable. They include the Reassembler Ray – which allows for quick Oulipean procedural collage even in the most extreme circumstance of Mainstream duress – and the standard-issue MEDGs (MacLowe Erasure Dispersal Grenades), which are fired from the palms of Conceptual Poet’s gauntlets.

Other weapons built into various incarnations of the armor include the Syntax Dissembling Beam-Projector in Conceptual Poet's chest. The beam is made up of pulse bolts of SIS (Synergistic Internet Sourcings) that pick up procedural energy (but not lyrical energy), so that they hit harder the farther the reader sits from his or her HPSM (Home Poetry Screening Module). Other capabilities of Conceptual Poet’s standard suit include: Ultra Rime-Riche Disrupter which, used in conjunction with the AAAD (Alliteration And Assonance Detector), allows Conceptual Poet to create and disrupt multiple IFs (Informational Fields) simultaneously, regardless of the quotient of Area Specific Anti-Lyrical Datum Hook-Up. He is also able, at propitious moments (such as during the recent Buffalo special-deployment) to engage a Holographic Search-Field Modulating Generator, which enables close to unlimited “I’m Feeling Lucky” poetic functionalities. Conceptual Poet is also equipped with 6 high-frequency Faux-Prosodic Metrical Decoy Devices (FPMDDs). These are often able to confuse Conceptual Poet’s most resourceful Mainstream enemies, leaving them open to later, standard attacks of MacLowe Erasure Dispersal Grenades.

In addition to the general-purpose model he wears, Conceptual Poet has developed several specialized suits for (respectively): Sonnet and Established-Form Deconstruction, Procedural Repetition, Unboring Boringness, Situationism, and a high-level DDD (Dada Distanciation Device). These suits may in turn be fitted with such extras as the 2008 synergistically modulated re-issue of Poetry Foundation Sweeping Pronouncement Blogging Capabilities.

For a time, due to an artificial system installed after he suffered extensive damage to his original nervous system during the second L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E War ("Equals Equals 2"), Conceptual Poet had superhumanly acute powers of sensory perception, unemotional detachment from constructed notions of “the Reader”, world informational network-synergy (largely a product of the 2006 discovery of the Apps World Poetic Data Assimilator), as well as extraordinary awareness of the physical processes within his own body, as well as those within the Internets.

After being critically injured during a battle with the 4th generation Quietude-enhanced Glück clone, Conceptual Poet injected his nervous system with a modified Cartesian Self And Organic Pronoun Canceling Virus (known as the “Contemporanis” process) which not only saved his life, but gave him the ability to store the inner layers of the Conceptual Poet armor in the hollows of his Lyrical Central Core-Modulation Disruptor, (as well as control it through direct Romantic Emotion Inhibiting Impulses). Conceptual Poet can thus now control the layer of affective armor underneath his skin, and make it emerge from numerous exit points around his limbs as a gold-colored neural interface under-sheath. While in this form, Conceptual Poet has technopathic control of the armor and can suit up at any time (see previous reference concerning the “Buffalo” deployment).

Furthermore, the “Contemporanis” process has increased his body's recuperative and healing abilities. He is now also able to connect remotely to external communications systems such as satellites, cellular phones, computers and interactive workshops throughout the world. Because the armor's operating system is now directly connected to Conceptual Poet’s nervous system, its response time has been significantly improved. (Because of this amelioration, for example, Conceptual Poet is now able to produce in the environs of 23.2 to 23.7 million PATWs [Poems Against The War] each second).

New improvements are also scheduled: for instance, a newly integrated Critical Field Preparation Module is scheduled from Copper Canyon Biotech Industry's R & D Division, for the summer of 2009.

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